Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
