I wannas sexs uuuuu
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
