Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize