Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize