Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
