I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
