It's Friday. Sex?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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