Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
