...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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