If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need water and some morals
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
