I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
