so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
