I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
