Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont even know how to be here
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
