I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
