Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
