So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
no, he came in my armpit
I smell stomach acid.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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