CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
