dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i drank out of a bidet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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