with your own penis?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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