Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
