My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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