i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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