Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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