i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
