after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Floor bacon is actually really good
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
