Say something about gay babies.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
