So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
