Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
