he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
