I must be too annoying 4 u.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
