Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
