You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
