literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
