She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
