apparently the secret to your success is patron
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
