it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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