Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
