dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize