Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
