She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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