Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
