Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
