Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
