Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
