Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
