One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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