i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
