I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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