Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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