I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
