But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize