where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
wanna go halves on a baby?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You're a waste of cheezeits
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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