he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
