she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Couch. On fire.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
