Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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