My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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