Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
