Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
