lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
