On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
