My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
